A Memory Moment of Love
On my Mother’s birthday
Audio Inspiration
I have a short list of favorite podcasts that I rotate through on my short commute to and from work each day. When they are especially excellent, an episode will grab hold of me and in turn I will subject my colleagues with my enthusiastic take-aways throughout the day. Occasionally, I stumble upon a single little snippet from an hour long recording that touches me deeply and inspires me to write. Yesterday, I was captivated by one such snippet.
Ten Percenter Happier
The Episode
The podcast of the day is Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris. His guest is Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., an infectiously warm and worldly man who has been developing a practice called ‘Somatic Experiencing’ for the last fifty years. By sharing his own deeply personal and traumatic childhood experience, Levine unveils how his practice is able to support individuals struggling with their own stress, anxiety, and trauma. The 75-minute episode was incredibly valuable in its entirety, but the snippet that grabbed me presented itself at the very end of the recording.
The Snippet
Early in the episode, Levine narrates an almost hypnotically serene and joyous moment from his childhood. He is gently woken by his parents one morning to discover that they have somehow constructed an elaborate model train network of tracks all throughout his bedroom, even beneath his bed, as he lay sleeping. He describes the sheer exhilaration and ecstatic thrill that he experiences upon waking to this magical revelation of boyhood pleasure.
Most importantly, he says in that moment he knew without any trace of doubt that he was deeply loved and treasured by his parents. Later, Levine explains how critical the memory of this knowledge is to surviving future trauma. He says that this experience of absolute unwavering affirmation of love, provides the resiliency that is necessary to overcome any trauma that occurs later in life. Perhaps in simpler terms, if you have known love, you can survive anything.
And here is the snippet from the last few moments of the podcast that resonated with me. Dan Harris, the fantastically self-deprecating journalist and host of the podcast asked a question of Levine. Harris said, “Is that a practice that the rest of us could adopt to re-inhabit moments of feeling love, connection, support as a way to fortify us in moments of difficulty?” And yes, absolutely, Levine confirmed what my goosebumps already told me, the practice of remembering or revisiting the moments of knowing you are loved can serve as a powerful tool for healing today.
My Memory Moment of Love: For Mom
I am nestled in my Mother's lap.
Circle time in a hot Texas preschool.
Vivid orange and gold carpeted ABCs beneath us.
Red smocks with white block letters name each child.
My Mother is the prettiest, the best one of them all.
I am 4 years old .
I am warm.
I am safe.
I am loved.
In the comfortable cocoon of her arms.
We sing of monkeys on beds
and itsy bitsy spiders
and ten little Indians.
We sway together
back and forth,
and side to side.
I feel her deep belly laugh against my back.
Her laughter is bright, my smile is wide.
My fingers twist in her long, brown hair.
She hums so only I can hear as she smiles
down at me, brushing the hair from my eyes.
Her palm lingers upon the curls on my head.
Her hand is warm and soft and mine.
Chanel sugar cookie smell wraps me tight.
Interlacing fingers and arms,
embraced fully in love and light.
My face turns up toward the Sun.
I am warm.
I am safe.
The Sun is my Mother,
and I am loved.
Coaching Application
In the type of coaching that I practice, we live in the present moment and we work on moving forward. This means that we do not delve into childhood trauma or revisit the mistakes we may have made in the past. However, I do believe that the words of wisdom from Peter Levine may still be useful in our personal reflection or meditation practices as well as in our coaching questions if we take care to apply them to the present moment. Here are a few examples:
How do you know that you are loved?
What images from your childhood bring you joy today?
Describe a loving moment from your childhood that has contributed to who you are today.
*A powerful strategy for those struggling to love themselves is to place a photograph of themself as a child in a prominent place in their home. Taking a moment each day to consider, ‘How will I show this child love today?’ gently encourages a shift in perspective that invites kindness to oneself.
Teaching Application
I get a bit giddy just thinking about the writing and group discussion opportunities that are possible when considering this topic. Of course, care should be taken with students who may be sensitive, but keeping the sources of love wide open for students to choose from (feeling loved by a parent, pet, friend, building, community, nature, etc.) will provide a safe and comfortable experience for everyone.
Here are a few prompts to explore:
Describe a single moment in time when you knew you were loved. Use all 5 senses to add as much detail to the description as possible.
Bring to school a photograph of yourself looking happy as a small child. With a partner, share three things that may have created that happy-feeling moment. Notice if you share common or unique experiences with your partner.
What is your ‘happy place,” a setting that gives you a sense of being safe, loved, and comfortable? Draw, write, or talk about why this is a special place to you.
Nice.