ELEGY FOR MY BROTHER

A complexity of character and life

Grief

Inspired by Clover Stroud’s deeply compelling On The Way Life Feels post about grief and the loss of her beloved sister, I am moved to honor my own brother by sharing a short piece I wrote on the day that he died.

I am not editing this piece from how I originally wrote it on that day. I simply need to have his name said aloud again, even if only by me.  My brother passed on May 18, 2019. He was 43 years old.

Remembrance

One of the most profound sadnesses of my life is the story of my baby brother, my only brother, David Jensen. 

The most insanely naturally gifted musician I've ever had the honor of watching play the piano, he virtually taught himself the keys as a small child once he grew irritated by the nun's slow teaching methods. As he grew from a soft and gentle-hearted, pudgy, Star Wars loving book obsessed little boy into a tall gangly Blues playing Camel smoking rocks glass on the piano bar kind of young man, he captivated any who were lucky enough to be in his presence. 

His demons were incredibly powerful and they stole much of my brother away from me and those who loved him. I will try desperately to remember him not as this tragic waste of life, talent and love but as the little boy who "flew" the plane on his 5th birthday coming home from Disney, as the tolerant child who allowed me to dress him up like a babydoll, as the brilliant high school dropout who wrote me prolific and existential letters revealing his pending demons in pure Dylanesque style all through my college years, as Kid Jensen in bars and clubs in Baltimore, Philly, and later New Orleans who captivated many and filled me with immeasurable big-sister pride, as the beautiful young man who rivaled Harry Connick, Jr.'s good looks and Sinatra's swanky cool dude vibe on their best days.

I choose to remember my brother this way, with flying fingers on keys, twinkling blue eyes, and that crazy, sarcastic, intellectual wit that I could hardly keep up with. 

I loved him so very, very much and my heart is broken by the loss of him. 

My brother. 

Play on, David. 

All my love, David, always and forever, your big sister.

David James Jensen -- July 14,1975 - May 18, 2019